Easter Candy
Writing a report no one cares about.
I was in the local supermarket chain yesterday. I might have been humming “Lost in a Supermarket” by the Clash. I tend to think of that song or “Common People” by Pulp. I don’t know how many supermarket themed songs there are but those have to be the two best.
I was doing the weekly shopping which meant that my Long Suffering Wife had updated the list. Having reached the first quarter century of the new millennium, it’s a shared spreadsheet on my phone. It is convenient and mostly efficient, to click off boxes as I wander around the aisles.
I filled my cart with all the things on the list and the things that are such constant staples they don’t need to be put on a list. The regular staples were secured. I then spent time contemplating which shampoo and which bodywash I was meant to get. The array of choices was stymieing. There was one other item on the list that was a little out of the ordinary. Easter candy.
The Long Suffering Wife and I usually have a difference of opinion as to how much is appropriate. I think a modest amount is good. She thinks that a small crate or pirates treasure chest per child is adequate. So every year there is a cornucopia of candy that comes home. The Reese’s Pieces carrots, Jelly Belly jelly beans, peeps, Cadbury eggs, Reese’s peanut butter cup eggs and the family favorite of Cadbury mini-eggs.
This is funny because my children have a strange relationship with candy. My oldest son likes exactly three things, Hershey Bars, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Jelly Belly jelly beans. My youngest likes lolley pops. The main joy he gets from Halloween or Easter candy, is giving it away to his brother, mother and me.
I win because I get the Peeps that neither boy is much interested in. I like to brule them with a small torch. The effect is like a combination of campfire marshmallow and creme brule. Don’t judge me until you’ve tried it.
This year’s Easter baskets will be more modest. In part as reflection of the boys growing up and learning that quantity doesn’t trump quality. The other being a lack of selection at the market. Maybe I left the candy shopping too late or maybe there wasn’t as much selection. It wasn’t that the shelves were back to their COVID era imitation of a Soviet store circa 1981. Due to a series of food allergies in our family whole swaths of things are off limits. There just seemed to be a lot less of the stuff that my family could safely eat. Also I couldn’t find a package of mini-eggs anywhere in the store. Heartbreak in the aisles.